Instructions for Recovery From Emotional Trama

Lesson 1

You will need:
-Wine (or other soothing beverage of your choosing)
-Crayons (preferably a new large box with the sharpener in the back)
-Coloring Books and or Blank Paper (start with pretty soothing color books it takes the pressure off)
-Chocolate (white chocolate is NOT chocolate, any others will do)
-Inspiring Movies (Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium, Penelope, Harold and Maude, Pippi Long stocking, to name a few)

You may apply all these tools at once for greatest effect or one at a time as your schedule allows. Happy Healing!

Chicks with Guns

Happy Holidays

Yeah I said it, those dirty words. Happy Holidays. Not Merry Christmas. Not Happy Hanaqwanzule. Happy Holidays. See how easy that was. No one need be offended. Even atheists celebrate the new year. We live in a free-ish country. We celebrate lots of holidays, practice countless religions and maintain the right to abstain from those holidays and religions if we like. I don't care what holiday people wish well for me. Merry Yule is my favorite but I'll take any well wishes you got. My point is if someone says "Happy Holidays" don't get upset cause they didn't feel like trying to magically divine which greeting you preferred. Relax folks. Enjoy your holiday which ever on you like or just enjoy the day off courtesy your christian co-workers and their superb PR and government infiltration. Happy Holidays Everybody!

Of Dead Mice and Men and Chocolate.

We have had some rodent problems in the motorpool. It's a garage so it's got plenty of places for little mice and bugs and spiders to creep in at night. I don't mind them much. I actually find them funny. We slept over at the motorpool once and had eatten a cookie before bed, leaving the wrapper on a table just above my head. At one point during the night a mouse tried to get to the wrapper and the crumbs it contained by crawling over my blanket. It scared me at first and then I realized what was going on. I put the wrapper on the floor and quitely watched the mouse squeeze inside and eat up all the crumbs. I giggled to myself and fell back to sleep. Later it got into my quaker rice cake that I had left on the desk. I chuckled and thought that I need to be more careful. The same thing happened to a co-worker and he thought traps and poision. I proceeded to talk him out of it, explaining that as long as we had food in the motorpool we would have mice. No matter how many you kill. And the mice were saved to munch another day.
That next monday I was taking out the trash and found a dead mouse in the bottom of the can. Apparently the little guy had jumped in from a near by table for some snacks and after eatting had realized he couldn't get back out again. I was a little sad but he had jumped in himself so I guess it was fair. The heat in the motorpool through the weekend must have done him in. There was a break room around the corner that I'm sad to say doesn't get cleaned well and three offices that have small stashes of food, but the little guy couldn't pass up that trash can. He found a way in, got his reward, and meet his end. All that for a few crumbs.
As I thought about the mouse I thought "we do very similar things". Okay metaphoric similar things but still. We get an idea of what we want, we go through great pains to get it, and sometimes (not all the time, as I'm sure this was not the first daring feat that this mouse had made in the quest for food) we kill ourselves reaching for it. Some how the risks always seem worth it. In love, work, friendship, and family, who wouldn't go to great lenghts to get what they most desire.
Oh, I seem to have left out the contents the little mouse was after. It was a swiss cake roll wrapper. So we all understand the blinding effect chocolate can have on us.

Racoon Rescue Ranger

Some time ago. On a very hot and humid day. I was taking out trash......again. I rolled one of the big shop trash cans out to the dumpster. There was only one can today so I was alone. This is not uncommon.


I lifted the can in front of me and dumped it in. As I lifted the can away to shake it and ensure that all the trash had fallen out I saw a raccoon. I realize now from the look on his face that he was more frightened than me but at first sight I was so startled that I screamed and stumbled back ward. I dropped the can and nearly fell down. I walked back to the office to do the responsible thing, call animal control. When I told them what happened no one cared. I said it was hot and if the raccoon didn't get out he would die. "So" they all replied. I couldn't let that stand.



I marched out to the dumpster determined to find a way to help this little guy out. I look around and find bits to lower in. The first was too short and he fell back in with a chatter. I look again and get a bigger frame piece to lower. He climbed to the top and paused on the edge to give me what I like to think of as a look of thanks. He trotted off and was never seen again. I hope he found some place safe to be. It's nice to do a good thing even if its just for a small animal.

My Nights With The Pagans

I'm not a Pagan. Not really. But when I stumbled across a Pagan group that held meetings and classes once a week I was intrigued. I've been in Oklahoma for about 6 months now and I've made very few friends. I didn't really know how to meet people. I never really have. I am not what you would call socially adept. But these lovely, if a bit odd, people welcomed me. It was nice. I see them once a week and have a very pleasant social outlet. Even though I wouldn't call myself Pagan, not in the strictest sense. I call my spiritual preference "cafeteria style", one guy at the group calls it "eclectic". We talk about everything. Politics, religion, sex, whatever comes up....pardon the pun, totally unintended. I find myself thinking "maybe I am pagan, I do seem to fit."Never having really stamped a title on my God or religious preference I wonder sometimes if there is one for me. Or if a title is even necessary. I'm not really looking for input. Just thinking to myself. Is my desire to remain untitled keeping me from becoming a part of solid social circles?

Ah, having a back log on topics.

I know I've been away a while but I'll be back soon with amazing stories!

Still to come......
How I got hit in the head by a goat.
Mac, hero to Raccoons every where!
Dead Mice and Greed
My nights with the Pagans
The A-Team, and my long time Mr.T infatuation

I don't have time right now but I will very soon.

Ergh!

This writing thing is harder than I remember. But to be fair I haven't done it in so long. Now I have alot of stories in my head all clamoring for attention. It gets noisy and hard to focus. I am trying. I just keep throwing things down and hopefully something will emerge as the victorious one.

1st Sgt was wondering why I wasn't smiling this morning. I always smile in the morning. I'm a morning person and I love PT. But I didn't sleep well. I'm bored, unfocused and unorganized. A far cry from my normal and happy state of being. People keep leaving but things keep breaking. As if the trucks don't realized we are short on workers. *Pisha* I hate to see not mission capable vehicles. It upsets me cause generally It was a small problem not long ago, no one caught it and now its a big problem. I think my biggest issue is that I care too much. I have a deep down need to do my job really well. I just don't understand when others aren't the same way.

Well I'm going to work. I've had my coffee and I am bound and determined to make a dent in the crap pile! Wish me Luck!

Long Time No Write

Boy, I'm terrible at this blogging thing. I never seem to do it regularly. Alot like my journals. I wonder why I can't commit to journals. They help me, I know they do. I always feel better after I write. So why not just do it. I suppose it's like starting to exercise or quiting smoking. Something that is a habit tends to stay a habit and something thats not tends to stay that way too. Like the law of inertia.

Anyway I'm back and I'm off work and alone for a few days so I might really write. Let the rambling begin.......

I recall very few memories from my younger years. Lately, however, my memories as an adult are so vivid I can hardly tell the difference between them and reality. I'll be walking the line at the motor pool and suddenly, if only for a second, I see a familiar Korean street. I hear the mummer of a language I never really learned to understand. The smell and wet heat of the food vendor tents. I'm surrounded but vivid color and smiling people. Then in a flash the Korean street is gone. I'm left with beating sun, gray pavement and the stench of exhaust. Oklahoma is a stale wasteland in comparison to the crowded streets of Seoul. I would chock it up to simply missing that extraordinary experience, but it happens other times. Driving in the car I'll relive a 2 year gone fight I had with and old boyfriend. Isn't your memory suppose to get worse as you age. Mine seems to be getting uncomfortably better.

Maybe this is a symptom of my efforts to let go of past pain. The Korea thing might actually be me missing Korea, or Pittsburgh, or any where but here. I don't really like to bash places, cause I know to someone somewhere that place is home and perfect. But Oklahoma doesn't even bare a pasting resemblance to any home I've ever known. It's either too cold or too hot. The wind doesn't blow it hits you like you wronged it in a past life. Then there is the oh-so-fun Tornado season, and the gratuitous amount of bugs.

Home to me is temperate, mountainous, densely forested, and close to a major metropolitan area. Not sure I'll ever be truly happy anywhere else. And to cap all this off I have this to say.......